Music Numbs My Skin
by eskimobee
Summary: This is based on the Warren/Kirsty/Adam storyline each chapter is around a song by envy on the coast and over 3000 words each- so be warned...
1. Chapter 1: X Amount of Truth

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: It isn't mine :-(

AN: yeah, these things are turtlin' annoyin' but I need to explain things. Each chapter is a song by Envy on the Coast. If you've seen any of my other fics you may notice a pattern, I do tend to put some songynees into my fics, but usually EOTC. This is just a full flush to get it out of my system. Song lyrics are in _**bold italics**_- just to help you out XD

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter One

(X) Amount of Truth

~~Casualty~~

_**Wake all the children from their slumber,  
Before they wonder why their dreams have gone to hell.  
Wake all the children from their sleep.  
Down the staircase we shall creep,  
To the basement of this white picket home.**_

~~Casualty~~

Last night hadn't been the worst. She figured he'd had a relatively good day. On the other hand he could just have been exhausted. He'd seemed surprised when she wasn't late home, in fact she'd been a good twenty minutes earlier than expected. She didn't tell him why though. She didn't tell him that she'd nearly fainted and Tess had sent her home. She didn't tell him that Adam had given her a lift home and dropped her off down the street, just in case Warren was watching. But it'd just be like him to find some excuse to hurt her.

_~~last night~~_

"_You're home early" he stated in his low voice_

"_Yeah, was able to get off earlier, the ED was fairly slow today." She replied with a forced impish grin "which means we have a little time before Nita gets home."_

"_Aren't you going to get her?" he asked, sounding a little peeved_

"_No, she texted me and said she was going to the skate park and Lauren's mum will drop her home. She said she'd only be a little while, about an hour and a half at the most."_

"_Right" he stared back at the counter._

"_I was thinking that we could do something until then."_

"_Like what?" he asked half sighing _

_She shrugged "I dunno, something fun. I'm stuck for ideas, what do you think?"_

"_I think you need to shut it, you lyin', cheatin' slut."_

"_Why?" she asked exasperatedly "Why this every single bloody night? What have I done, what have I really done? All this thinking I'm cheating on you is all in your head, Warren. This stupid paranoid frustration is all made up. When are you going to open your eyes and realise that?"_

"_I told you to shut it." He said his voice raised slightly in a warning._

"_What are you gonna do now, then? Hit me? Beat me to a bloody pulp? Kill me?"_

"_You never know, Kirsty. All I know is that it's what you deserve. It's the only way I can get you on the straight and narrow."_

"_You're actually justifying what you do?" she scoffed "I wanted to do something nice and couple orientated but obviously you have a better idea. You always do."_

"_You think I enjoy this? Hurting you. Having to punish you. Do you honestly think that this is fun for me?"_

"_I don't know, Warren. It might be. This might be the way you get your kicks."_

"_Don't"_

"_Don't what?"_

"_Don't you dare. You have no right."_

"_I have every right!" She screamed "Who are you, Warren? Who, no, what have you become? I don't even know my own husband anymore." Her voice cracked and she started to calm her voice down "What happened to the person I fell in love with when all I had to worry about was a couple of exams and getting my homework done on time."_

_He pushed her into the wall and Kirsty grimaced as she felt old bruises screaming and new ones joining them on top. "I'll tell you what happened." He shoved himself against her "He. Grew. Up." It was then that he shoved her to the floor and she'd blacked out. Well, it could have been worse._

_~~back to present~~_

He used to be so nice, so loving. Where had that man gone? He hadn't grown up, he'd turned into a monster she didn't recognise. Her eyes were drawn to her surroundings; she was lying on the kitchen floor, it wasn't all that messy. There was broken glass near her feet, between her and the door. He'd actually bothered to put a cushion under her head, or had Nita? Oh God! Had Nita seen her in this state? If she had, what excuse had Warren given? 'She'd been drunk and passed out on the floor and he'd felt too exhausted to carry her up to their bed.' Or 'she'd lashed out at him and he was scared to go near her' or something else along those lines.

She had to get to work. What time was it? Never mind the time, what was the day? How long had she been out for this time? She moved her hands under her and tried to push herself up. Her arms shook violently and buckled under her, causing her to smack back down to the floor. Cursing under her breath, she tried again, with the same result. She whimpered and fought the tears prickling in her eyes "Come on" she whispered "Don't let him win"

"Mum?" said a timid voice from the doorway

"Nita" she said, feeling all the colour drain from her face.

"Do you want me to get dad?"

"No" she said quickly "Just- just help me get up."

"Ok. You sure you don't want me to get dad phone in sick for you?"

"Definitely sure, I need out of this house."

"Dad said you had a fight and you must have fainted"

"If only." She muttered

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nita asked, pulling her mother into a standing position.

Kirsty hesitated. Nita looked so much like Warren standing there with the innocent look on her face, except that her's was genuine. Kirsty sighed and said "Nothing. I'm just a bit tired." She slumped onto one of the kitchen stools. "Could you make me some coffee please?"

"No."

"Nita. Please. I just need a pick me up and I'll get changed and go to work"

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"Darling, I'm going to be late for work, it can wait, and you have school."

"I want to know now, mum."

Kirsty bit her lip "I'll make you a deal. You make some coffee, I'll walk you to school and we can talk then. Just not now, I'm not ready to. Not here, Let's talk when I'm more awake, yeah?"

"Promise?"

"I promise." She said only a little truthfully

~~Casualty~~

"Alright princess, out you get." Jeff helped a little girl out of the ambulance and led her into resus, after the gurney carrying the girl's mother.

"Will my mummy be ok?"

"Lemme tell you something, darling. See all these people?" he gestured to the doctors and nurses in the room. The girl nodded "They'll do their very best to help your mummy and get her all fixed up nice and quick."

"Shannen McAllister, 27, found unconscious. Regained consciousness after five minutes of CPR, been slipping in and out for the past 15 minutes since. Ok have we all got a bit? On three, One, two, three." Said Dixie instructing the team, as she had way too many times before, to lift the woman onto the bed.

"Right, Shannen, my name's Doctor Truman, can you tell us what happened?" The woman murmured incoherently. She opened and closed her eyes lethargically. "Come on, stay with us Shannen"

"Who's this then?" asked a nice lady, with dark curly hair "My name's Kirsty, do you wanna come with me sweetheart, while the doctors make your mummy better?" she held out her hand, with a smile. Adam smiled slightly at the scene, before turning his attention back to his patient. Kirsty could wait, Shannen couldn't.

~~Casualty~~

"My daddy said she was being bad."

"Ok." She said, carefully "do you know how mummy got hurt?"

"He pushed her down the stairs but he said it was by an accident. He was cross."

"Do you know why he was cross?" Kirsty asked the girl curled on the sofa beside her in the relatives' room.

They girl stared at the floor, but Kirsty saw her eyes glazing over as she replied "Mummy was a bad girl. Bad people deserve all they get."

_**Let's show them where the bad ones go.**_

The familiarity scared Kirsty for a second. No. This wasn't her husband. This was a six year old girl she'd known all of ten minutes. "Ok. How about your name. You know mine but I don't know your's." She grinned mischievously "Come on. I'm sure you're mummy gave you a really pretty name, eh? So how about you tell me?"

"My name is Sarah."

"Wow. That is a pretty name. You know my friend Jeff? Yeah? I bet he called you 'princess', am I right?" the girl nodded, a small smile tickling her mouth "Well, that is exactly what your name means. Sarah means 'princess'. How about that then? Do you like that?" She smiled and nodded, unfolding until she was sitting, facing Kirsty. They chatted for a while longer until Adam put his head around the door.

"Aha, there you are. So. Sarah, your mum's a lot better now but she's still quite sick. Do you want to go see her, she's awake now."

The little girl's eyes lit up "Yes please."

"Right, just give me a minute and I'll get someone to take you there."

"Why can't you take me? Or Kirsty?"

"Well, I just need to have a little chat with Kirsty and then we'll both be straight in, ok?" he smiled when the little girl nodded. He spotted Tess and called her over. "Ok, Sarah, this is my friend, Tess. She'll take you into your mummy, ok?" she nodded again, and took Tess' outstretched hand.

~~Casualty~~  
_**For all they know, for all they know,  
Their heroes are still untouchable.  
What they don't know, what they don't know.**_

~~Casualty~~

_Ever since I was little, I used to think my mum was indestructible. That she was somehow a superhero. That what she told me this morning was total crap. But it wasn't. When I'd found her lying on the floor I knew it was dad. I loved him but there was no excuse to what he did to my mum! There is no way I, Nita Clements am going to let mum go back to that. I suspect I only know the very tip of the iceberg. Probably even less. I have no idea how long it has been going on for. _"Nita"_ Why is dad so horrible? He was always Mr Nice. A bit of a joker and always with a quick cheeky joke and a giggle. Somehow mum was the exception to his rules. _"Nita! NITA!" _the sound of mum screaming my name made me want to cry. It was only a memory. She was at work. She was safe there. Dr Truman would look after her._

"Nita Clements, can you please pay attention and give me an answer please? Before I keep you behind in detention."

"Sorry, sir. The answer is-" _Ahh, school. So mundane and tiresome. At least it broke up the time between the long hours spent at home, wondering if her mum would turn up on time. Oh good she'd answered correctly, maybe she could be left in peace to wallow in her thoughts. Some things are way more important that a stupid geography lesson._

~~Casualty~~

"Kirsty, you have to call the police on him."

"What about Nita? She'll side with him and hate me forever. She always has been 'daddy's little girl', Adam."

"Once she sees that he's hurt you and is nothing but a lowlife scumbag then she'll understand."

"You're talking about her _father._ She loves him more than anything."

"Well she's going to find out sooner or later. Would you prefer it to be now and have her hate you for a week or two, or would you prefer it six months down the line when you end up six feet under and she spends the rest of her life hating herself?"

"Sometimes I wonder if she'd be better off if I was dead."

"No. Don't say that Kirsty, you are a fantastic mother. She's a teenager for Christ's sake. She's bound to resent her mum a little, it's what they do."

"I am in no way a good mother."

"You're worrying about what she'll think or do. That says that you care and that you love her. You were great with little Sarah just now."

"Come on. You promised we'd be in there with her. Let's not let her down." She passed him, still standing by the door. He lightly put his hand on her arm to stop her and looked into her glowing bronze orbs.

"This isn't over Kirsty." He told he softly

"I know" she said, matching his tone.

~~Casualty~~

Her phone buzzed for the fifth time that day. Nita had an idea that her dad was ringing yet again. Just to be sure, she snuck a peek at the caller ID.

'Dad'

Crap! Not again! She swiftly sent a text when the teacher briefly left the room to get some more textbooks to remind her dad that she was at school and she would ring him back at lunch break.

'OK' the swift reply. She'd bought some time to actually concentrate on school. Ten minutes later her phone buzzed again. This time, a text from her mum:

'Change of plans- coming to pick you up today. C u later. Mum x'

Ten minutes until lunch break. Wow, had the time really gone that fast?

~~Casualty~~

"You look like you could use a drink." Adam said cheerily to Kirsty at the end of a long shift.

"I can't, I'm picking Nita up today."

"So tell her to get the bus or go with a friend."

"I don't need another excuse to give to Warren."

"We could go to the police today and report him. You could Pick Nita up, on the way."

"I can't, Adam. Not today. I just can't do it. I'm sorry." Kirsty leaned her head against the locker door. She jumped when she felt her phone buzz: a text from Nita.

'Dad rang me- we need to talk some more. There's stuff I need to say. I'm 5 mins from the hospital I assume u haven't left yet. C u then. Nita xxx'

"It's from Nita, she's coming here. She says she wants to talk to me."

Adam read the text and nodded "Ok, I'll wait for her with you then."

"Thanks, Adam." She smiled at him. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd seen all week.

~~Casualty~~

Nita pulled her coat tighter around her, against the bitter January wind. She was within sight of the hospital. She crossed the road and navigated her way to the E.D.

"You alright, princess?" asked a man she had met briefly before, and knew vaguely as 'Jeff'. "You lookin' for your mum?"

"Yeah. Do you know if she's still here?"

"Yeah, yeah just saw her in reception with a couple of the gang." He grinned cheekily "Look, go in and if you can't see her ask Noel and he'll point you in the right direction. I gotta go, I've got a callout."

"Ok, thanks."

"See you around, princess." He grinned cheekily at her and hopped into the ambulance shortly followed by Dixie, his best mate, partner and wife.

Nita heard the latter say "Right Jeffrey, off we go."

~~Casualty~~

"Come on, Kirsty. Come out for some end of shift drinks. It's good to let your hair down once in a while." Said Zoe almost exasperatedly.

"I am exhausted. I'm just going to get my daughter and go home to bed."

"No mum."

"Nita. You're here already. Good. Now I can get out of here and home to my warm bed."

"No. We're not going home. At least not tonight."

"But your dad-"

"He's why. I'm not letting you go home until you call the police."

"Nita, please" she gently pulled her daughter to the exit "Not here. We'll talk in the morning. Right nowwe should be heading home."

"Mum, no. Adam, help me. We need to talk some sense into her."

"Nita's right. You need to get out of there. I told you she wouldn't hate you."

"You thought I'd hate you? Mum. I thought you were _dead_ this morning. When I checked for a pulse I couldn't find one, in my panic. I thought you'd stopped breathing and I'd got up to go get a phone for an ambulance, and you came to. I've never been so relieved in my life. I could never hate you."

After the past few months, the beatings had gotten worse and more frequent. Kirsty started to cry uncontrollably and fainted from both the emotional stress and the physical pain. Adam and Nita sat outside Kirsty's hospital room waiting for her to regain consciousness. Adam held the teen in his strong arms, not too tightly so she wouldn't be hurt. Nita sat there, motionless in his almost fatherly embrace, occasionally a whimper would escape her lips. Neither of them had dry eyes. It had been six hours and Kirsty still wasn't wakening. Nita had turned her phone off which she knew her dad would be angry about. But she really couldn't care less about the so-called father and husband. She just prayed to anyone or any_thing_ that was listening that her mother would be ok again. She wasn't all that religious but right now, she needed all the help she could get.

~~Casualty~~

_**All the preachers and the ministers  
Administer those sinister looks.  
They teach from a liar's chair.  
A pulpit mounted on a child's prayer.**_

~~Casualty~~

_Please, please let my mum be ok._

##########

Yeah yeah I know I have a million other things to do on SVU world but I HAD to write something on this... I've got rather hooked on Casualty and as it's a British med drama it sorta takes priority over American cop shows... sorry mes Americano amigos.

Also sorry it's a bit of a longy! I just started and couldn't stop! XD lol


	2. Chapter 2: Made of Stone

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: No... still not mine. Casualty belongs to the BBC neither is the song, it's Numb by Envy on the Coast, rights go to them. I don't own aero or mars bars, rights go to the respective companies, I'm just borrowing them for my story

AN: I did a thing with Kirsty and Warren's history in this chapter- just so you know, it's totally made up. But it's needed for the storyline...

also, sorry about the wait, January exams are sooo annoying they're taking over. I haven't been able to access a computer for a while to post this. Oh well what's done is done...

Enjoy!

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter Two

Made of Stone

~~Casualty~~

_**I don't believe in much of anything**__**  
**__**I threw that away when I found out**__**  
**__**Jesus never learned to sing**_

~~Casualty~~

_What is God? Someone we turn to when desperate? This entity greater than ourselves that we use as a comfort blanket? Something to be feared, or something that we can get help from? If there is a God, he better damn well get my mum better._

_Dr Truman, Adam, got me some milkshake. He told me that the police are on their way to talk to me about mum. They'll probably go arrest dad. Then we can go home and not have to worry about him hurting her._

_Adam says I should get some sleep, I guess I'm kinda tired, I've been up all day and I think he notices when I start to yawn and try to hide it. 'you look like your mum when you do that' 'do what?' 'try to hide the fact that you're tired. She does that a lot too.'_

_Mum. Please, PLEASE get better. I have had enough of sitting here, waiting for you to wake up._

_Adam's taking me to the on call room to get me some sleep. There's no-one in here, which is good. I lie down on the bed and he sits with me until I fall asleep. I wake up and he's gone. I check the time and two hours have passed._

_I turn over and fall asleep again. I must have been tired. Next thing I know, I'm being shaken awake. I roll over to see Adam. He tells me to come with him. I glance at the time. I'd only been asleep for ten minutes that time._

_He's taking me to mum's room. I can see her. She's just lying there. Adam tells me that the police had come and he told them that I was asleep, so they are coming back tomorrow. That means I can't go home yet._

_I go into mum's room. Her eyes are closed and she looks... relaxed... happy... calm. Not things I'd ever think I'd see on her face._

~~Casualty~~

She was due home EIGHT hours ago. Where the hell is she? Oh well he may as well go to bed, she's not coming home tonight. Nita's probably at one of her friends' houses. The filthy slut, however, was for it when she eventually came home tomorrow. He thought he should get some kip before going out. Yes, he'd sleep for a bit then go to the ED if she still hadn't come home. He set his alarm to wake him in a few hours time. Six should give her enough time to come up with some pathetic excuse as to why she wasn't at home, with him.

His eyes fell on the scattered pile of photos he'd been going through on the kitchen table. He picked up one of their wedding pictures and studied her face. She was smiling at him, and neither was looking at the camera. They'd kissed moments before and she'd gone slightly pink, which caused him to laugh. A frozen moment in time they'd never get back to. Yeah, it had been nice, but _he'd_ grown up. Turns out _she_ was still living in her fairy princess imagination world.

They'd believed that anything was possible. She'd gone through night school, training as a nurse against all the odds. He'd been proud of her when she'd qualified. He'd been ecstatic when she got her first nursing job. There were two salaries coming in and they could be a proper little family. They could raise Nita properly and they were so in love.

Then she'd be out late. Using the excuse of; 'I work in a hospital, Warren. Hospitals are busy places.' Didn't he know it? At first it was ten minutes here and there, she'd call or text him to say she'd be late. When she came home she'd apologise and check on Nita, if she'd already gone to bed, then we'd sit for ages talking. I didn't mind at first. Then it got worse; she was two hours late one time. She hadn't called me. Or even sent me a bloody text. 'My phone ran out of credit, darling. I've just been so busy, I haven't had the chance to get a top up.'

That was the first time I ever raised my hand to my wife.

~~Casualty~~

_**I'll wear the crown if you say that it fits**__**  
**__**You say my head has grown but it fits through the door**_

~~Casualty~~

Adam stood in the doorway of Kirsty's room watching the teen walk to her mum's bedside. She pulled the chair in behind her and sat down. Adam could see she was gripping her mum's hand, their fingers interlaced. Kirsty's fingers twitched faintly at the contact.

"It's me, mum. It's Nita."

A small slight groan escaped Kirsty's lips. It looked like she'd wake up any second, but Adam knew she'd been sedated enough to put her under for at least twelve hours. That meant she'd still be under for another four. He quietly backed out of the room and quietly shut the door. For a few seconds, he leant against the door, composing himself, before walking down the corridor to the vending machine. He stood there looking at the selection of treats on offers and selected a chocolate bar. He then got a second one and returned to the room. He paused at the door, when he heard Nita talking.

"...and don't worry, mum. Adam says that the police can help us. He told me he's going to take good care of you. I know you won't wake up for a while, but he said it's for the best. He said you'll probably sleep a lot and he'll try to get work off. I told him I could look after you when I'm not at school. Well, I don't really mind. It just means you'll have someone there always with you."

~~Casualty~~

_**And you think I'm made of stone,**__**  
**__**I'm chiseled out of brick.**__**  
**__**I'm a vase that shatters**__**  
**__**Holding such beautiful things.**__**  
**__**I'm made of stone,**__**  
**__**I'm chiseled out of brick.**_

~~Casualty~~

_How had she put up with it for so long? How long it _had_ in fact been going on for; Nita had no idea. Was it months? Years? Was that the reason she kept changing jobs?_

_The door opened behind me and I glanced around to see it was Adam. 'Mum, Adam's here now.'_

'_Hey, Nita. Hey, Kirsty.'_

'_Do you want me to give you two some space?'_

'_No, it's ok you're alright where you are. Which one would you like?' He had an aero bar and a mars bar._

'_The aero bar, please. Thank you, Adam.' I broke a piece of and nibbled at it._

'_That's another thing you've picked up from your mum' he said, smiling 'She does the nibbling thing as well.'_

'_It makes it last longer.'_

'_That's what she said. Whereas I,' he took a large bite out of the mars bar and chewed and swallowed it 'just dive on in there.' This caused me to laugh a little. 'Right. I think we need to get you out of this hospital, Nita.' _

_I frowned 'but you said I couldn't go home until the police got my dad.'_

'_Well, sorry but I'm not going to take you to your home. We'll go to mine instead. Is that ok?'_

'_But what about-'_

'_Your mum will be asleep for a good four hours yet. You should get a change of scenery and a nice warm bed, where it's quiet. Won't get that here.'_

'_Thank you. You're so nice. I don't really know you all that well, but my mum knows you and she trusts you, so I guess I can too.'_

'_Ok. Let's leave your mum in peace to sleep. I told Dr Hanna to page me when it looks like she's going to wake up, ok?'_

'_Yep. That's fine by me.'_

'_Let's go.'_

'_I want to say goodbye first.'_

'_That's fine. I was going to as well.'_

_I walked back to the bed and whispered 'Bye mum, I love you' and kissed her on the cheek. I went out the door and let Adam say goodbye. Then he came out after a few minutes and we left._

~~Casualty~~

Nita stepped out of the room and I went over to Kirsty's bed and whispered to Kirsty's sleeping form "Kirsty, I'm going to take Nita back to mine. I've explained to Zoe and she'll let me know when you wake up. We're going to come back later; I just thought Nita should get a change of scenery. I just wish things could have turned out differently. See you later." I half stood up but hesitated when I looked at her face. How could anyone hate her? Least of all her husband. I hesitated before bending down to lightly kiss her on the forehead, brushing a few stray curls out of her pale face.

~~Casualty~~

_**I'm a machine,**__**  
**__**I'm made of recycled clicks**__**  
**__**To keep you in line when you step out of time,**__**  
**__**I rule with my iron fist**__**  
**__**I think about the plan the whole world wrote for us**__**  
**__**And sometimes it hurts,**_

~~Casualty~~

Warren awoke a few minutes before his alarm. He turned it off and turned onto his back. He saw with a glance beside him that she hadn't come home. He struggled to get himself up and went into Nita's room. The bed hadn't been slept in and her homework planner was lying on her bed. Neither of them had come home.

She'd disobeyed him yet again. She had to be taught her lesson.

~~Casualty~~

_She was floating. It had to be some kind of dream. But usually her dreams were invaded with images of Warren beating the crap out of her. More recently, Adam had featured in the odd dream. When that happened, she'd wake up and blush at the memory of her dream but then compose herself before Warren had the chance to make a comment._

*beep*

_Adam. He'd been so nice, despite however horrible she'd been to him, he was always there for her. No matter how much she pushed him away, he would be there. He was just concerned about her._

*beep*

_Or was there something else? Did he see her differently now that he knew most of the truth?_

*beep*

_There were muffled sounds that Kirsty was dimly aware of._

*beep*

_And beeps. Familiar beeps._

*beep*

_Heartrate monitor._

*beep*

_Was she in resus?_

*beep*

_Or one of the wards?_

*beep*

_Or the ICU?_

*beep*

_Wherever she was, it wasn't cubicles or CDU._

*beep*

_The muffled sounds became clearer. The beeps louder._

*beep*

_She was waking up_

*beep*

_Light flooded into her vision and she began opening her eyes_

*beep*

_Her eyes to a minute to adjust and the light dimmed a little._

*beep*

_She could see._

*beep* _shapes_ *beep* _people_

*beep*

_Nita_

*beep*

_Adam_

*beep*

_They were really there._

"Mum."

She smiled at her daughter, and the darkness took her again.

~~Casualty~~

_**When you think I'm made of stone,**__**  
**__**I'm chiseled out of brick.**__**  
**__**I'm a vase that shatters**__**  
**__**Holding such beautiful things.**__**  
**__**I'm made of stone,**__**  
**__**I'm chiseled out of brick.**_

~~Casualty~~

"Excuse me, I'm lookin' for me wife. Kirsty, she's a nurse 'ere. She didn't come 'ome last night I just wanna make sure she's alright."

The man at the reception desk studied him for a second and said "Ok, what's your name?"

"Warren, Warren Clements. Can you just tell me where she is so we can go 'ome?"

"Well, if you just take a seat there I'll get Dr Hanna to have a look for you."

"Right." Warren replied, unconvinced.

~~Casualty~~

"Zoe, phone for you."

"Thanks. Hello?"

"_Dr Hanna, it's Noel. I 'ave someone here says he's Kirsty's husband. Do you want me to send him up or do you want to come down and speak to him?"_

"No, Noel, could you page Adam and tell him not to come through the ED. Could you tell Mr Clements I'll be down in a few minutes to speak to him. In the meantime can you call security and have them on standby. I don't know how rough this is going to get."

"_Ok, thanks, Zoe."_

"Thanks for lettin' me know, Noel."

~~Casualty~~

_**Stoned in my room,**__**  
**__**Yeah they would stone me in my sleep**__**  
**__**I learned to stare the way that he did**__**  
**__**The way that Jesus watched his sheep**__**  
**__**I do this to breathe into the choir,**__**  
**__**I preach**__**  
**__**You know how it feels,**_

~~Casualty~~

Adam's pager went off just as they passed the vending machine. They stopped so Adam could read it.

_'Don't come through the ED. Warren Clements is here. Get Nita home safe.'_

"Right how about another aero bar." he indicated to the vending machine

"No, mum says I shouldn't eats too many sweets in a short period of time. Besides, I'm actually not that hungry, but thanks anyway."

"OK. Let's go back to mine first and then maybe go out and get something to eat. How does that sound?"

"Sounds great! Thanks."

~~Casualty~~

_**When I start to think you're made of stone,**__**  
**__**You're chiseled out of brick.**__**  
**__**You're the vase that shatters**__**  
**__**Holding such a pitiful thing.**__**  
**__**You're made of stone,**__**  
**__**You're chiseled out of brick.**__**  
**__**I still believe in this.**_

~~Casualty~~

"Aren't we going out that way, Adam?" she indicated to the stairway that led to the ED, that they'd just passed.

"No. Apparently your dad's in the ED looking for your mum, so I think we'll stay out of his way, don't you? Besides, this way is a bit quicker."

"Ok"

~~Casualty~~

"Dr Hanna will come down to speak to you in a few minutes."

"Has something happened to Kirsty?"

Noel shrugged "I don't know, mate, you'll have to ask Dr Hanna that one."

"Right." He muttered, more to himself than to Noel, who had gone behind the desk.

After a few minutes, he got up and said to Noel "Listen, I gotta go get me daughter, she'll be dead worried if something's happened to her mum."

Without waiting for a response, he walked out of the ED and into the car park. He saw two people walking out of another entrance. He recognised one as his daughter, so he shouted over to her.

"Nita"

"Dad." She whispered and hid behind Adam as her father approached.

"Nita, darlin' come on, we gotta go find your mum... Where were you last night? Did you stay with Emily? Or Georgia? Come on, sweetheart, I need to know where you were. That you were safe. Your mum'd kill me if anything happened to you and it was my fault."

"Is that what you'd do if it was hers?"

"Nita, it's a figure of speech. I'm just sayin' 'ow much we both care about you."

"But mum didn't come home last night either."

"Yeah, I know. That's why we got find her. So I know she's safe."

"Or so you can beat the crap out of her yet again for going against you?"

"I've never hit your mum. Not on purpose."

"You LIAR."

"Come on, Nita, calm down, Let's get you back inside." Adam spoke up for the first time

"Don't you dare tell my daughter what to do."

"Adam, I'm scared." She hid behind Adam more

"You bastard, you've turned my family against me."

Nita screamed and stumbled back a few paces as her father lunged for Adam, knocking the pair to the ground.

##########

So how far will this go? What will happen as Adam and Warren face each other?

Who will come out top?


	3. Chapter 3: Numb

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: This sooo ain't mine. Except for the odd character that I madedededed up all by my selfy-self! (*does impish child grin*)

AN: Chapter Three... hopefully one or two more after this then I can get back to other things... and my new Casualty fic, Dream Girl

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter Three

Numb

~~Casualty~~

_**I can't feel a thing...  
I'll rape this city just to show you she's as pretty in the night as day...  
I kiss bottles even though I know that they'll become my currency  
I'm made of books, and drunks, and people, who I thought I should become,**_

~~Casualty~~

He was sitting in the bloody hospital security office. For trying to get his bloody daughter back. That thieving kidnapping bastard was allowed to take his daughter anywhere in the world, while he was stuck here. A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Mr Clements?"

"Who's askin'?"

"DIs Robyn Angelo and Andrew McAllister, we're here to have a little chat with you about your wife."

"What about her? Has she turned up?"

"We didn't know you'd reported her missing."

"I 'adn't. Don't you 'ave to wait 24 hours until then or something? It ain't been that long yet."

"She's not missing, Mr Clements, she's right here in the hospital. She never left."

"Why didn't she come 'ome?"

"She fainted before she could. In front of your daughter. Do you have any idea how that could happen, Mr Clements?"

"No. I don't. Can I please go see her?"

"No, we have been informed that you have been abusing your wife over a long period of time."

"I haven't touched her."

"Perverting the course of justice is a serious offence, Mr Clements. We could arrest you right now and continue this 'little chat' down at the station. I don't think you'd like that, would you?"

"No."

"Well then, if it isn't you that is harming her, how do you explain the bruises?"

"Bruises?"

"Yes, Mr Clements. Purple-black discolouration of the skin. Usually appear when the body is struck sharply or with great force. She's covered in them. Old ones overlapped by fresher ones."

"Maybe it's that doctor she seems so friendly with. That Dr Truman. He beat me up pretty bad."

"We have an eye witness that confirms it was in fact the other way around. That you attacked him."

"He were trying to kidnap my daughter." He said, his voice rising indignantly

"Your wife, your _daughter's mother _placed her in the care of Dr Truman while she was otherwise unable to look after her. After your assault on Dr Truman we have decided it best that we take you into custody, pending charging."

With that she stood him up and handcuffed him. They then proceeded to guide him out the door. When he stumbled DI McAllister said "don't try anything funny, mate."

To which he replied "Funny? You think Muscular Dystrophy is funny?"

"Warren Clements, you are under arrest for the suspicion of assault and perverting the course of justice."

One thought stuck in his mind.

Adam Truman was going to pay.

~~Casualty~~

"Welcome back to the world of the living, Kirsty." Said a familiar voice; "we've all been very worried about you."

_Tess_

"Listen, you've just missed Adam and Nita. They said you'd woken up but they've gone to get something to eat and then they'll be back."

"Nita" she struggled to say with her dry mouth "school"

"Don't worry, Adam says he'll sort everything out tomorrow."

"Warren." She said timidly

"The police have taken him into custody." Tess explained "He tried to attack Adam, so he's behind bars for now. That means Adam and Nita can go and get some of your and Nita's things. Adam's offered to let you stay with him for as long as you need."

"Adam. How is he?"

"He's good, he managed to get in a fair few digs before security pulled them apart. Now. Enough chit chat. How about some water?"

Kirsty nodded gratefully and took a few sips, grateful for the cool liquid running down her sore, dry throat. Luckily, she hadn't needed to be intubated, so it could have been a lot worse.

"How long was I out for?" she asked, a little croakily still but better

"About 15 hours. You were given a 12 hour dose and you woke up for a few seconds but fell asleep again."

"I might just go right back to sleep. I feel as if I haven't in about a year." Kirsty said, stifling a yawn

"That's alright, just you get yourself better"

"Thanks Tess" she replied sleepily

"No problem"

"Could you stay for a bit, please. Just until I fall asleep."

"Yep. Will do and I'll make sure Adam knows you were awake and maybe next time you wake up he and Nita'll be here."

"I'd like that" she said as she nodded off.

Tess smiled at her nurse's sleeping form. From the looks of things, Tess wouldn't have been that surprised if Kirsty hadn't had that much sleep in the past few _weeks_, never mind a year. Kirsty's breathing evened out and Tess quietly got up and left her in peace a few minutes later. It was time for her shift to start.

~~Casualty~~

_**And I'll swallow anything  
That seems to look just like a key, yeah...  
Just like a key, yeah...**_

~~Casualty~~

He should have kept his cool. Warren was waiting in the interrogation room, waiting for the two DIs to conduct their 'formal interview' as they called it. The thought floating about his head were loud and annoying. Maybe it was just a hangover. '_Right about now a good whiskey or a strong rum would be so good. It could make everything go away. I wouldn't be held responsible for my mistakes. It really was an accident this time. I hadn't actually meant to hurt that stupid wife stealing goody two shoes. I just wanted my daughter and to see Kirsty.'_

_I just saw red._

~~Casualty~~

_How did she deal with it? Day in, day out. The same thing over and over. How did she manage to hide it from their only daughter? Or from everyone else? She was a gentle, loving soul. And every day he would break her. Every day she would get up, brush herself off, and glue back the pieces of herself. But no matter how good the sticking back together is, you can always see the cracks. She is a broken person who hides it so well, but that's not how it should be._

_She shouldn't have to deal with it alone._

_~~Casualty~~_

_It's funny how people say in moments of frustration that they hate their parents. I don't. I love my mum. But right now my dad could die and I wouldn't care. I do love him, it's just that he's not the man I thought he was. He isn't my dad. My funny, kind of embarrassing, lovely dad. I don't know where he's gone. I want that dad to come back. It's like he ran away and left an empty hateful shell. It scares me so much. _

_He scares me._

~~Casualty~~

_**She says, "You're hurting me..."**_

_**"I can't feel a thing."  
I said, "Don't worry cause I can't feel a thing."  
(I can't feel a thing! )  
I said, "Don't worry cause I can't feel a thing..."**_

~~Casualty~~

Adam looked at Nita's sleeping form as she sat in the chair beside her mum's bed. Kirsty had not awakened and they'd only been able to go in for an hour after they'd gone back inside. Nita had wanted to check on her mum, after the confrontation with her dad, but they were both exhausted. So Adam had said to her that they wouldn't stay long. Now they were here, and both were asleep, he could see how they were both so alike it was scary.

~~Casualty~~

Did he know he hurt her? DI Robyn Angelo stood watching the suspect through the one way glass. She was waiting for her partner, DI Andrew McAllister fill their DCI in, before they would conduct the interview.

Violence was always horrible. Angelo was often confused as to why people would do certain things. Not so much why, nowadays, but how could it be stopped and prevented from happening again. This case was no different. There was the split second thought of 'why?' then it was gone. Replaced by a determination to get justice for the victim. Domestic violence was the worst, in Angelo's opinion. Too many times it ended in death, before and even after intervention. She'd seen it way to often in one person's lifetime. Her mind returned to the man behind the glass.

Was this the only way that he felt he could live?

She felt she alone couldn't find the answer. She saw the time and sighed. How long would McAllister take? She made a decision. She glanced once more at the man behind the glass, and went off to find her partner.

~~Casualty~~

_**The anchor, the appetite.  
Why don't you tell me how I lost my way?  
They taught me to love with my eyes and my fists  
So I bought a blindfold and medical tape.**_

~~Casualty~~

Angelo paused at the door to the DCI's office. She could hear the voices of McAllister and the DCI. She stopped as she heard McAllister say "Please, Guv. Just don't tell Robyn. Not today. I'll do it myself. I need time to get used to it first."

"Sure thing Andrew. But you _will_ have to tell her. this affects her too."

"Will do, Guv. I have to go, she'll be waiting for me."

Angelo silently tiptoed away from the door and into the hallway. She heard the Guv's door open and shut, and she proceeded to go to her partner.

"Hey, I was just coming to look for you. You've been ages. I was beginning to think that you'd got lost on your way." she joked lightly.

"Well obviously I hadn't. There was something else I needed to talk to the guv about. It's not important now. Let's just get this over and done with, while he's still refusing legal representation."

"Ok. Well, you know I'm here if you need to talk."

"Yeah, thanks for the thought. Anyway this is the _police_, not a counselling service."

_'Well, _sorry_, I'm just trying to be civil'_ she thought

~~Casualty~~

_**I broke all of the rules I made  
We're in a shroud made out of cellophane.  
Now I'll swallow anything  
That reminds me I am temporary here.**_

~~Casualty~~

Maybe they were better off without him. After all he nearly had killed the woman he was supposed to love. Maybe it was his time. His last goodbye. He knew they blamed him for everything. If Kirsty died, it was all his fault and he deserved all he got. Maybe he should just end everything. What about Nita? He couldn't leave her an orphan. Kirsty would probably have found a way that she would go to that doctor she was so in love with. Adam Truman had taken everything away from him. His wife, his daughter. Well. Warren would make sure that he never got his life as well. He would remove it before it could be taken away from him.

~~Casualty~~

Kirsty was awake again. But she couldn't sleep.

If anything, Kirsty was glad that she was out of the situation. She just hoped Nita would forgive her for taking her dad away from her. It wasn't entirely her fault. Warren was a thug. Plain and simple. She just wished she'd stood up to him and told him to his face. As she thought of their future, Kirsty pondered whether Nita would accept Adam. What was she thinking? Adam wasn't _her's._ Anyway, Nita wouldn't appreciate it. She'd probably see it as Kirsty trying to replace Warren in their lives. Yes, it would be an improvement, but it wouldn't be her dad. A parent and child had the strongest bond possible. Kirsty was not wanting to try to take that away. She could accept that Nita would unconditionally love her dad, despite all that had happened.

~~Casualty~~

Adam took Nita home and promised her they'd go see her mum after school the next day. She'd probably be awake and she and Nita could have some time alone. He didn't know what it was, but he had felt drawn to Kirsty almost as soon as he knew her. When he found out she was married, he'd backed off, but had been there for her when she had finally told him everything that was going on. He wanted to be there for her, but hadn't wanted to give Warren any more ammunition than he already had.

Adam realised how he felt about Kirsty, but he knew she could never feel the same way. He knew there was no chance that she'd leave her husband either. He kept trying to persuade her to leave, but to no avail. Is this what it took? A brush with death?

He couldn't think of any other way he could have persuaded her to leave Warren. He'd offered her a way out, which she'd nearly taken. Until she'd realised the time and fear had put her defences up. She'd gone back. Late. He'd feared for her safety. Those words when she'd come to his door. _'he crossed the line' _Then she'd gone back. Again.

~~Casualty~~

DI Robyn Angelo sighed after a long day. They'd questioned Warren Clements and had decided to hold him overnight, and let everyone in question get some sleep. They'd taken him to lock up and shut the door on him. He was given his meal and left alone. They'd gather their evidence and charge him in the morning. The prison doctor came to gave him his sleeping pills and left him to it.

McAllister had been his usual pain in the arse self, but it was because, like most days, none of them had really taken much of a break that day. She thought of the conversation she'd overheard earlier. Something was up with McAllister, but _what_? Ahhhh! She didn't care. Men were so awkward sometimes. Why couldn't he just _tell_ her?

~~Casualty~~

_**She pushed in deep,  
Wearing nothing but her bones  
She says, "you're hurting me..."**_

_**I can't feel a thing.**_

_**I said, "Don't worry cause I can't feel a thing."  
(I can't feel a thing! )**_

~~Casualty~~

"Adam. Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, Nita, what's up?"

"It's about my dad."

"OK. Go on."

"I don't love him anymore. He's my dad and I don't love him. Not even for the fact that he's got blood relation to me. It's just DNA now. I don't feel like I care anymore. At least not enough to cry that he's dead. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Calm down, it's OK. I think that right now what you're feeling is that you do love him, but everything else is in the way. There's nothing wrong with loving him, he's still your dad."

"OK. I just don't know how he could expect anyone to feel anything for him after it all.

~~Casualty~~

_"INMATE DOWN! INMATE DOWN!"_

_Alarms sounded around the prison. The entire prison went on lock-down. But it was too late. They were too late._

_The last flicker of light faded and the blackness enveloped him._

_Warren Clements had taken his own life._

~~Casualty~~

_**I'll fall in love with you or anyone...**_

_**I'll fall in love with you or anyone...  
(I can't feel a thing! )  
I'll fall in love with you or anyone...  
(I can't feel a thing! )  
And I'll fall in love with you or anyone! Yeah!  
(I can't feel a thing! )  
FALL in love with you! And I'll fall in love with you!  
(I said don't worry 'cause I can't feel a thing...)  
(I can't feel a thing! )  
I could fall in love with you or ANYONE!  
(I said don't worry 'cause I can't feel a thing...)**_

~~Casualty~~

_That was it. Game over._

~~Casualty~~

##########

end of Ch3

As I mentioned at the start, if you're interested,

I have a new Casualty fic, Dream Girl check it out,

hopefully I can manage both at once,

and get others finished as well


	4. Chapter 4:Tell Them That Shes Not Scared

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: It isn't mine :-(

AN: So is Warren really dead? YES! Or... NO! I keep dithering... read on to find out. I hope you are enjoying this so far… here's the fourth instalment... I'm planning on wrapping this up pretty soon, to counteract the bad news, I'm giving you a long-un

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter Four

Tell Them That She's Not Scared

~~Casualty~~

_**I'll hold your tears as a ransom**__**  
**__**Within the palm of my hand**__**  
**__**And tell you once again,**__**  
**__**Don't tell me that you're scared**_

~~Casualty~~

It had been two weeks since Kirsty had been discharged and she was sitting at home idly flicking through a magazine. She knew she had at least four more weeks off work, to 'rest, heal and get better'. The truth though? She was bored. She felt enclosed and almost trapped. It wasn't a scary kind of trapped, more of a confinement that no matter how much she wanted, she couldn't really leave or even find the energy to even make the ten minute walk to the shops.

Adam had insisted that she and Nita come and stay with him. He'd been looking after Nita anyway and eventually Kirsty was persuaded, by both Adam _and_ Nita, to follow. So they went to the house and got some more of their things, and nearly all of Nita's school things, so they could stay with Adam.

She hadn't really wanted to go to Warren's funeral but she felt obligated to, as they'd spent a good proportion of their lives together, and also for Nita. It had been small, and there were some of the firefighters he used to work with. She'd seen family and friends she hadn't seen in quite a few years. They offered kind words of condolences, which she'd accepted politely with a quick smile and quiet thanks. She'd been asked if she'd wanted to speak at his memorial service, but she'd declined politely. She had just been out of hospital, so no-one had questioned why.

As she thought about how she felt about Warren, she was glad he was no longer in her life, but a part of him would live on in Nita and in their memories. She had to remember that there _were_ good ones, even great ones, among the bad. In the end, a part of her still loved him. When she thought of him, she liked to think of the man he had been before all the violence and beatings. The way he _should_ be remembered. The kind, loving gentle soul. The man she'd fallen in love with, that she knew was buried under all the hate and anger.

Nita had wanted to speak, but was only able to say a few words before breaking down and running out to get some air. Losing her father had taken it out of her. For the week following the funeral, she'd barely talked to anyone, had barely eaten much and would hide in her room sleeping most of the time.

After the end of the week, she started to come around, but she wouldn't speak about what had happened to her dad.

~~Casualty~~

_**Wake, wake, wake her**__**  
**__**From this sea of white linens and**__**  
**__**Extract the drugs from her dreams**__**  
**__**And sew her seams with delicateness**__**  
**__**'Cause beneath her chest sits the heart that I live for,**__**  
**__**You'd kill for,**__**  
**__**The angels would die for**__**  
**__**And with a subtle wink and a flutter of wings**__**  
**__**They whispered**_

~~Casualty~~

Nita woke up crying again that morning. She'd been dreaming about her dad. About the last time she'd seen him. When he'd attacked Adam, outside the ED. Seeing that it was a few minutes to go before her alarm went off anyway, she quietly got up and turned her light on. She had to wait a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to the light, before she could look in her mirror to see her face.

She'd got most of her makeup off last night, but she could see where she'd missed some of her eye make-up. There was some mascara just below each eye and there was some of her purple glittery eyeliner. She managed to get her face cleaned and threw some clothes on so she was presentable for going down to breakfast.

Her mother and Adam each greeted her and she sat down to breakfast. She forced herself to make polite conversation with the two of them. They trod around the topic of her dad like they had every morning since they'd found out what had happened. She'd have to talk about it eventually, but in her opinion, the longer she could put it off for, the better.

~~Casualty~~

Kirsty studied her daughter in quick glances. She didn't need all her years experience as a mental health nurse to tell that. It probably had something to do with her dad. No, scratch that. It _definitely_ had something to do with her dad.

She didn't want to pressure her daughter into talking about him, but Kirsty knew that the teen would need an outlet. Someone to talk to. She knew a few people who could talk to Nita because, chances were, she wouldn't want to talk to either her or Adam. When the time came, she would suggest it, and not a minute sooner.

~~Casualty~~

_**They whispered**_

_**I'll hold your tears as a ransom**__**  
**__**Within the palm of my hand**__**  
**__**And tell you once again**__**  
**__**Don't tell me that you're scared**_

_**Alert the sawbones,**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers**__**  
**__**Wake the angels**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She won't be taking the next flight out of here**_

~~Casualty~~

"Adam, how's Kirsty doing?" Tess asked him as she came to get some files from reception.

"Yeah, she's doing great. She's definitely on the mend." He said looking up from the forms he was filling in behind the desk. "Actually, she was saying that she might come in at the end of the week for a visit. She has an outpatients appointment and she said she'd come in on her way back while she's here."

"That'd be lovely. I'm not sure if I'll be here or not, but if I don't see her, send her my best, yeah?" she said, lifting what she needed and leaving.

"Sure thing, thanks Tess." He smiled and returned to the form. He just had a few lines to do when Noel called him over to take a phone call. He sighed and closed the folder. He could finish it later, there wasn't too much left to do.

~~Casualty~~

Nita came in from school and gave her mum a hug, before going upstairs. Kirsty sighed and went back to her book. She would speak to Adam about Nita when he got home. She was really beginning to worry. Her daughter was the centre of her universe and she'd do anything for her. But sometimes, she had to put her foot down and intervene. Nita needed to talk about what happened to her dad, because she seemed more closed off and non-committal every day. She had an appointment this Friday and she was also planning on dropping into the ED for a while afterwards. If Tess was on, she'd go talk to her.

~~Casualty~~

_**With a relic in her right hand,**__**  
**__**She rushes to the front line,**__**  
**__**Stricken by the wounds across her chest**__**  
**__**The angels swear she's blessed with this medical test**__**  
**__**That unlocks the gates to the place that we live for**__**  
**__**We die for,**__**  
**__**I know that she's bound for**_

~~Casualty~~

Tess was busy stressing over the next fortnight's nursing rota. With Kirsty off, she was having trouble coordinating people onto shifts. To make matters worse, Jay had gone home with food poisoning a few hours ago and Mads had requested some personal time off. She desperately needed a break. As if on cue, she heard a knock on the door. She looked up to see Kirsty opening the door looking tired, but a lot better than the last time she'd seen her.

"Kirsty! How nice to see you. Adam said you might come in. How are you?"

The young nurse smiled tiredly and closed the door behind her. "I'm alright, a bit tired but I just need to get back into the swing of things. This journey out has had both good and bad effects. It means I get out of the house, get a change of scenery and some fresh air, but to be honest, it's totally taken it out of me. I'm so tired." She laughed, and Tess smiled.

"Well it's good to see you back on your feet."

"It's good to see everyone. I'm not quite ready to come back but I shouldn't be too long."

"Don't rush yourself, just you get better. It's better to do things properly first time, than to rush it and have to take the time to fix it later on."

"Wise words." Kirsty commented, smiling "You look busy, shall I leave you to it or do you want to take a break?"

"I was just thinking of taking a break, actually. This rota's a pain. I can't seem to get it sorted properly, I might need to call in an agency nurse, but I don't really want to unless I have to."

"You could ask a few of the nurses upstairs to do even a few hours."

"I'll get back to it later. How about we go to the staffroom and get a coffee?"

"Sounds good."

~~Casualty~~

_**And with a subtle wink and a mother's instinct**__**  
**__**She whispered,**_

_**She whispered**_

~~Casualty~~

She covered the latest blemishes with concealer. Nita wanted to fade into the background. A group of girls from the year above came in. Their ringleader, Jenna McFarlane, looked her up and down in disgust, before completely ignoring her and gazing into the mirror at her reflection. The other girls stood behind their leader like some kind of lapdogs, occasionally sneering at Nita and glancing at her up and down.

This school was so cliquey. If you weren't part of Jenna McFarlane's 'crew', or at least in her 'acceptable human beings' list, you were no-one. Nita knew she was no-one. Which was exactly why she wanted to fade into the background. Jenna finished with her makeup and turned to Nita.

"So, _Nita_" the girl placed emphasis on her name, as if it was a joke "What do you think of my hair?"

"It's nice." She said in the least convincing voice she could. In her honest opinion, Jenna's dry, bottle-blonde, fake flat, artificially straight hair, was as cheap and fake as the nails she'd got done over the weekend "I like your nails as well."

"Good. They cost loads." She bragged "But obviously I got them done anyway. I only deserve the best."

"You wear them well." She replied and started to leave the bathroom

"Uh. Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to go to class."

"Sure you don't."

"I have double maths in five minutes with Mr Garland. I don't want to be late."

"I have a free period. So do you."

"I just said-"

"You have a free period too."

"Are you threatening me?"

"And if I am?"

"Leave me alone."

"It's not as if anyone will notice you've gone."

"Mr Garland-"

"Is away on a course."

"But I saw him this morning."

"He left about half an hour ago."

Nita knew Jenna was lying. Her little lapdogs had blocked the exit. She was for it now.

~~Casualty~~

_**I'll hold your tears as a ransom**__**  
**__**Within the palm of my hand**__**  
**__**And tell you once again,**__**  
**__**Don't tell me that you're...**_

~~Casualty~~

Blood. She was bleeding. And alone. She got up and looked in the mirror. It was just a split lip. She touched her eye gently, she'd have a black eye in the morning. Now though, she was late for class. Tidying herself up, and applying more concealer, she left the bathroom. Before she went into the classroom, she took a deep breath, to calm herself down and opened the door.

~~Casualty~~

_**Alert the sawbones,**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers**__**  
**__**Wake the angels**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She won't be taking the next flight**_

_**Alert the sawbones,**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers**__**  
**__**Wake the angels**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She won't be taking the next flight out of here**_

~~Casualty~~

Kirsty and Tess left the staffroom about half an hour later. They'd had a good chat and had agreed that when Kirsty came back, she would start on light labour and short hours. Kirsty had managed to help Tess sort out the next fortnight's timetable as well.

"Well it was great seeing you, Kirsty. I hope you get better soon. We all miss you here."

"Yeah, I find myself kind of bored at home sometimes, I'll be glad to get back."

"We'll all be glad to have you back, and thanks again with the timetable. You were a great help."

"No problem, Tess. Just glad I could be so useful."

~~Casualty~~

_**The angels dressed for the wake**__**  
**__**But she sent them home**__**  
**__**She sent them home**__**  
**__**With a handful of bullet shells**__**  
**__**With a handful of bullet shells**_

_**The angels dressed for the wake**__**  
**__**But she sent them home**__**  
**__**Sent them home**__**  
**__**With a handful of bullet shells**__**  
**__**With a handful of bullet shells**_

~~Casualty~~

"Alright, Skippy?"

"Who are you calling Skippy?"

"Uh, I just thought I'd use it as an icebreaker, you know, start up a conversation."

"Why would you want to start up a conversation with me?"

"I dunno. I'm new round here and you looked interesting."

"Why? 'Cos I'm on my own?"

"Yeah, why not?" there was a few minutes of silence, before he spoke again "So why are you on your own then?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, I just thought that you'd be the sort of person to be surrounded by people, laughing and joking around."

"Well, obviously I'm not. So I'm obviously not interesting, and you can sod off."

"Well, for some reason, I don't believe that for a second. Tell me a bit about yourself then."

"What's there to tell?"

"Well, start with your name. I'm Silas McAvoy, and you are-?"

"Nita Clements. How come I've never heard of you round here?"

"I moved up from London last week. My mum got a new job here."

"Where does she work?"

"The morgue."

"You're not serious. Are you?"

"I certainly am. My mum works out how people kicked the proverbial bucket."

"What about your dad?"

"He's still in London, with my sister. So what about your family then? Any sisters or brothers?"

"No. Just me."

"What about your parents?"

"My mum's a nurse, she works in Holby City ED."

"And your dad?"

"He died. In prison."

"Oh. So it's just you and your mum then?"

"No. We're staying with mum's friend, Adam. He looked after me when mum was in hospital."

"I hope she's feeling better. It's good she has people she can rely on for help. Who do you have?"

"I have my mum."

"Other than your mum, who do you have? Who do you talk to when you don't want to tell your mum something?"

"I don't-"

"What? You don't have anyone?"

"I don't have secrets from my mum."

"And why don't I believe that, Skip?"

"Because you're paranoid? And stop calling me 'Skippy'. It's rude. You know my real name, so use it."

"No need to get all defensive, buttershroom."

"I'm not- what? What's a buttershroom?"

"A cross between a buttercup and a mushroom." He replied nonchalantly "I was going to call you buttercup but you have this little extra something, I dunno what it is, so I called you buttershroom."

"You're really annoying."

"I know. It's all part of the charm." He grinned and winked at her.

"Don't wink at me."

"Oi. Am I even allowed to do anything round you?"

"Yeah. You can shut up and leave me alone."

"Now why would I want to leave such a beauty alone?"

"Well, if you want beauty then go over there." She pointed across the car park to a group of girls laughing and putting make up on every few minutes.

"Nah. I can't be bothered."

"You asked me why I wasn't laughing and joking around. If you wanted to have a laugh and a 'beauty' then you'd go over there."

"See. I'm not gonna do that, Skippy, I'm gonna stay here. They're wearing too much makeup and they're all way too shallow."

"Is that it?"

"Well, I think you're wearing a bit too much, but for some reason, something tells me you're doing it on purpose. Also, you're not orange, you're practically whiter than a ghost."

"Something tells me you like to exaggerate a lot."

"Nothing wrong with a little hyperbole."

"I guess not." She smiled for the first time in this conversation.

"So she _does_ smile then." He grinned "And absolutely beautifully at that."

"If I wasn't very much mistaken, I'd think you were flirting with me"

"Something tells me you're not one for making mistakes"

They sat in silence as the last remnants of conversation sunk in. They'd been so caught up in conversation, neither had noticed how close they were sitting. But someone did. Someone with a camera-phone. And internet access.

~~Casualty~~

_**Alert the sawbones,**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**_

~~Casualty~~

Kirsty was jerked awake by the front door slamming shut. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and got up to see who it was.

"Nita. Hey. Welcome home."

"I thought you were at the hospital."

"I was, then I came home." She looked at her daughter's face, and noticed the split lip and the beginnings of a black eye. "That looks sore, sweetheart, what happened?"

"We were playing football in PE. Guess who got the short straw of goalie. I'm going upstairs."

"Well, don't spend too long on facebook. Your homework is more important." She called after her daughter's retreating back.

"Hey."

"Hi. How was work?"

"Busy as ever. Tess said you came in, but I must have missed you."

"Yeah, she said you were busy in CDU. Besides, you see me every day now so what's a few hours missed here and there?"

He shrugged "Well, I'm home now, is Nita home yet?"

"Yeah, she came in about ten minutes before you did."

"Ok. I'm going up to take a shower. I thought the three of us could go out tonight for dinner, get out of the house for a bit."

"Actually, I'm exhausted, I came home and slept until Nita came in."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired, I told you."

"No. With Nita. You got a look on your face when you said Nita's name. What's up with her?"

"She's upstairs. She-" Kirsty paused, trying to figure out how to word her next sentence "Something's wrong. I don't think it's anything to do with her dad. She came in and she looked a right state."

"What do you mean?"

"She has a split lip and what looks like what is going to be a complete whopper of a black eye."

"I think I have some antiseptic cream, which should help the split lip, and some bruise cream for her eye."

"She told me she got them playing footie."

"But you don't believe her, do you?"

"No"

"I'll go get those creams for her and hit the shower."

"Ok. Jut don't try and make her think you're interfering."

"Best bedside manner. Got it." He mock saluted, before heading upstairs.

~~Casualty~~

Tears dripped onto the table beside her keyboard, her vision so blurred she could barely read what was on the computer screen. As if she wanted to. But no, she forced herself to anyway. Her homework lay forgotten for the time being on her bed. She forced herself to read the comments posted on pictures. Nita rubbed her eyes furiously and told herself to grow up and stop being so stupid. The album title made her want to throw up: 'the beauty and the freak- a day in the life of Nita 'the freak' Clements'

There were pictures of her in class, in the library and outside. She saw several of her sitting with Silas. It made her smile a little, until she saw the comments below them about how she was a freak and how she was "such a weirdo" and "why would the new kid bother with her?"

The next album was titled 'The freak's big day out'. There were some more pictures of her and Silas and then some of her in the toilets. They'd taken pictures as they'd hurt her. What was worse were the comments:

Katy Darmane: "Gross! The new kid gets attacked by an ugly monster! Oh wait it's just Freaky Clements"

Jen McFarlane: "We should introduce ourselves to him so he doesn't get stuck with that thing"

Hannah Best: "Hey, Jen I have a title for your next album- Creepy Clements Strikes again!"

Jen McFarlane: "Love it, Hannz! So going to use it LOL! I hope she sees this!"

She decided to reply and typed "I think the next title should be 'kill the freak'. It'll be sooo funny."

A few minutes later a message came through "haha that's sooo funny, Becky! You sooo should see this girl for real. We should 'invite' her to Hannah's party and you could see her then. You sooo should come. Is there any way you could get out of your family thing?"

"No, sorry, but you so should 'make peace with her' and totally humiliate her anyway. Take pictures and post them up so I can have a good laugh.

Becky Carmon was Nita's fake account. It was actually the name of someone she'd met on holiday. She'd 'found' the other girls on a chat room and had friended them on facebook. This was going to be the best revenge ever.

If it worked.

~~Casualty~~

_**Alert the sawbones,**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She's got an army of saints armed with her prayers**__**  
**__**Wake the angels**__**  
**__**Tell them that she's not scared**__**  
**__**She won't be taking the next flight out of here**_

~~Casualty~~

#########

In case you hadn't noticed from the songs I have included in my fics, I do enjoy Envy on the Coast.

They're not my favourite artist, but the lyrics are A-MAWH-ZING!

And I do make up a lot of words… heee heee


	5. Chapter 5 Great American TShirt Racket

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: It isn't mine :-(

AN: New guy Silas gets close to Nita… what's his story?

Reminder: Becky Carmon is Nita's fake facebook account

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter Five

The Great American T-shirt Racket

~~Casualty~~

_**Oh. I'll be catchin' stones,**__** i**__**t's nothing biblical**__**  
**__**'Cause I'd never tell you I'm a man of God and leave you with**__**  
**__**An out of focus poem, but all the kids know**__**  
**__**'Cause they've been coddled in the cradle of a barely broken home.**_

~~Casualty~~

_What makes a good life? Two parents? Lots of friends? Popularity? Doing well educationally? Being creative? Being famous?_

_I'm none of these, well. My mum says I'm really smart, but some of my teachers seem to disagree. Mrs McAllen, my music teacher seems to think I'm stupid or something. As does Mr Garland, the maths teacher. He thinks I'm a skiver too._

_I couldn't tell him why I'd missed the first lesson of that double though. I just couldn't. Jenna McFarlane and her 'crew' basically rule the school. What they say goes. If someone is to be tagged as a castout, then not a single kid in the school talk to them._

_Silas is different. Yeah, sure he's new, but he's different. _Quirky_, even. He has a slight accent, I can't quite place it. It's not quite Southern, Not quite Northern either. It sounds like he moves around a lot._

~~Casualty~~

"I gave that cream to Nita. She looked like she'd been crying. I asked her if she was ok, she said she was just tired. Do you think there's stuff happening in school?"

"Yeah, I don't know. She came home with a split lip and black eye, she said she'd got put in goal for football. I don't believe that for a second though. I'm gonna ring her school tomorrow, see if anyone's noticed anything."

"Do you want me to? You're working early and I've not to go in until half twelve."

"No, no. I'll do it. She's my daughter."

"I'm not trying to say anything against you, I just want to help lighten the load while you're still recovering."

"Thanks, but you've done so much already by letting us stay here. I'll call them before work."

"At half eight? Will they be open?"

"Yeah. Although it might be better if I was to wait until my lunch break."

"Or I could do it at say, ten?"

There was a small silence, Kirsty chewed her lip and replied timidly "Would you?"

He smiled and nodded.

~~Casualty~~

_**Are you happy now?**__**  
**__**You draw a big crowd**__**  
**__**Car wreck without a sound.**__**  
**__**And Arms like attic doors.**_

~~Casualty~~

Hannah Best: What kind of name is 'Nita' anyway? _9.39 pm_

Katy Darmane: Sounds like an old granny, LOL! _9:54 pm_

Hannah Best: What about that kid Silas? _10;07 pm_

Katy Darmane: I don't know. He's kind of a cutie. _10:13 pm_

Becky Carmon: He looks quite fine from the pictures you guys posted... _10:26 pm_

Hannah Best: Does he ever! Becky you so need to come down here and see him. And us too! _10:29 pm_

Katy Darmane: Yeah Beckylicious! _10:32 pm_

Jen McFarlane: Hate to break up the 'Silas-crush-fest' but this thread is for 'Clements bashing'..._11:01 pm_

Katy Darmane; Oohhhhh! Jen loves Silas! _11:03 pm_

Becky Carmon: shame the Clemonster got to him first... _11:09 pm_

Katy Darmane Good one, Beckylicious! _11:12 pm_

Jen McFarlane: Katy, stop trying to do the nickname thing, you're not American. _11:16 pm_

Hannah Best: You just got burrrned! _11:19 pm_

Jen McFarlane: neither are you Hannah _11:21 pm_

Katy Darmane: gotta go to bed now... stupid parents _11:24 pm_

Becky Carmon: Night, night earlybird! 11:25 pm

Jen McFarlane: Night Kitty-Kat 11:25 pm

Katy Darmane: I thought you said not to do the nickname thing 11:26 pm

Jen McFarlane When I do it, it's cute. When you do it, it's just sad. 11:28 pm

_Katy Darmane has exited the conversation window (11:29 pm)_

Hannah Best: I have to go now too guys 11:31 pm

Jen McFarlane: Bye x 11:34 pm

Hannah Best: Byeeeee xxxxxxx 11:36 pm

_Hannah Best has exited the conversation window 11:37 pm_

Jen McFarlane: always one to flake out straight after the other 11:38 pm

Becky Carmon: Flake out? You're calling the others American? Lol 11:39 pm

Jen McFarlane: it's fine when I do it. I lived there for a year. 11:41 pm

_When you were about five_

Becky Carmon: Really? What was it like? I've always wanted to go there 11:47

Jen McFarlane: it's soo good. Words can't describe it. You really have no idea. 11:51

_You __so__ can _clearly_ remember it._

Becky Carmon: When did you live there? 11:52

Jen McFarlane: I was only five but I've been back loads of times. You so should go some time. 11:59

Becky Carmon: Looks like I have to 'flake out' too lol. My dad just said it's after midnight, get off the computer and go to bed! 00:02 am

Jen McFarlane: Well, it was good talking to you again. Bye xx 00:03 am

Becky Carmon: Bye 00:04 am

_You have signed out from messenger. To sign back in, click 'sign in'. 00:06 am_

~~Casualty~~

_**Open up, yeah I'd like to join you.**__**  
**__**You can talk to God and I'll just watch.**__**  
**__**Oh, and I'll just watch...**__**  
**_  
~~Casualty~~

"Good morning, darling. How'd you sleep?"

"Alright."

"So, what's on for school today, then?"

"Classes, break, classes, lunch, more classes, then home."

"Ok. What do you want for-"

"I'm going to be late if I don't go now." She left the kitchen and grabbed her bag from the table.

"It's only half seven, there's loads of-" the door closed, cutting her off "time" she finished, sighing. She'd just hope that Adam could get through to the school today.

~~Casualty~~

_**And he said, "My scars...**__**  
**__**Now I have a T-Shirt to go with my...**__**  
**__**My scars... yeah now I have a T-Shirt**__**  
**__**To go with my..."**_

~~Casualty~~

"So, when I said I didn't like it when girls use too much makeup, I meant it."

"What do you mean?"

"You've basted your face in concealer. Well, it's a good thing you got one that actually matches your skin tone. Seriously though. Why so much?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna see what's underneath." She replied bitterly

"You mean the split lip, black eye and that scratch across your left cheek?" He said squinting into the sun.

"How did you-?"

"Long story. Short answer is, I have the acquired ability to see what's really under makeup. With most girls it's fakery, they think that sloshing on layers of foundation will get them anywhere. But then there's those who are hiding away." He looked in her eyes and everything about him softened "Trying to fade into the background."

"I-"

"You don't have to explain. I just hope you don't have to take the violence anymore. If you want me to, I can help."

"You don't have to."

"As your fiend I'm obliging myself."

"That made no sense."

"Oh so you're a grammar Nazi now, are you?" They both laughed and the air lightened. Both kept stealing glances at the other, never quite catching each other's eye.

"So. Where are you originally from? There's something about your accent, it's strange, but in a nice way. It makes you, you."

He laughed and said "It's hard to say really. We've been moved all over the shop. Bristol, Edinburgh, Anglesey. Spent most of primary school in Ireland, moved back to England when I was 10. Since then, Plymouth, Hull, Stockport. I don't think Stockport counts though because we were only there for two weeks, before finally we went to London."

"Why'd you move so much?"

"It's not important." He said a little too quickly, before recovering himself. "The important thing is I'm here, and I'm staying.

~~Casualty~~

_**When you cash a cheque, do you let it bleed?**__**  
**__**Let it breathe, brand it like cattle wearing your marquee.**__**  
**__**Everyone can see**__**  
**__**You made an emblem  
Out of "the broken" "the kind of broken" the "I wish I was broken."**_

~~Casualty~~

Jenna McFarlane. Popular. Pretty. Smart. So why did the new kid just blow me off?

Jerk.

Now he's talking to that 'special' kid Damien McWatters. Eugh! His 'good guy' act is getting old. Oh great. Here comes his first little stupid crush, Nita Clements. I suppose I should introduce myself and set him straight. No-one should have to be inflicted with such a punishment.

So now I'm walking over. The freak looks up and sees me coming over. The freak looks confused. She's whispering to him. Now they're both looking at me.

Ok. Be confident with a hint of flirty. But still put the freak in her place.

"Hi. I'm Jenna McFarlane, but you can call me Jen." I'm smiling, putting everything I have into 'flirt mode'.

"Hey, I'm Silas McAvoy," oh good he's finally seeing the light "and I'm your worst nightmare, bitch."

~~Casualty~~

_I can't believe what Silas just did._

_Jenna McFarlane's face goes from sugary sweet to grossly disgusted. "Fine then. It's your funeral." She says and spins around, flicking her hair over her shoulder and sauntering away._

_Oh, wait. I forgot to tell Silas about Jenna's 'connections'._

_Damn._

~~Casualty~~

_**'Other day, found a boy with a long face,**__**  
**__**'Said "Sir, I swear, I swear I'm okay..."**_

~~Casualty~~

"Silas, you didn't have to do that." Nita says, as we're watching the little slut walk away.

"Yeah, I did" I tell her "People like her deserve their comeuppance."

"People like her? What do you mean?"

"People, usually girls, who seem to think they can get anywhere in life by just clicking their fingers, or turning on a flirt. She's a little slut who needs put in her place."

"I know."

"So why haven't you said anything to someone? A teacher? Your mum? This guy, Adam?"

"It's... complicated."

"Why?"

"Ok. So, I may have set up a fake facebook account to get in on their 'crew' through a chatroom."

"What?"

"Jenna McFarlane seems to think she can and will 'get' you away from me."

"So basically, you've been using a fake account to get to know what they're doing?"

"I save every conversation and 'printscreen' every picture."

"Is this to get evidence against them or something?"

"Something like that."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She looks up. Looks past me, her eyes widening "Mr Anderson's coming. He looks mad."

"Excuse me, Nita, I would like a word with Mr McAvoy here."

"Anything you say to me can be said in front of Nita. I don't have anything to hide from her."

"Perhaps you would care to explain to both of us then, why you've been reported for using threatening behaviour and unacceptable language."

"Well, Nita was here. I assume you're talking about Jenna McFarlane?"

"Yes. Apparently she came and introduced herself then you threatened her out of the blue. Care to explain your unprovoked behaviour?"

"Unprovoked?" I can't actually believe this "What about the unprovoked bullying going on online?"

"The internet is not in my interest."

"So the fact that a group of pupils have targeted one in the year below and specifically only her, isn't in your interest? That's disgusting."

"Obviously there is no toleration of bullying within this school, but an open threat cannot go unpunished."

"How about the fact that Nita here has basted her face in makeup to hide what that little slut did to her?"

"Obviously makeup is prohibited, and that language is not to be tolerated. Mr McAvoy, you will be spending the rest of the week in detention and you, Miss Clements will remove all of that make up immediately."

"What about McFarlane and her little posse? They're all orange! What about their makeup?"

"Fifth and sixth form girls are permitted to wear a minimal amount of makeup. Perhaps next year, Miss Clements."

"Fifth and sixth form. So that's years 11 to 13? McFarlane and her crew are only year 10. We're year nine. Besides, they're not wearing 'minimal' makeup, it's practically shovelled on."

"You would do well to keep your head down and your mouth shut, Mr McAvoy, if you wish to avoid further punishment." I can't believe what I'm hearing! "Good day to you both."

"What the hell was that about?" I ask Nita, as soon as Anderson's out of earshot

"Board of governors: Alistair McFarlane, Jeremy Best, Rachel Hunter, Megan Darmane. All of their kids come here. You just verbally bitch-slapped the one who could get us _both_ kicked out of school."

"Everyone knows what she's like. So what's the problem? So her dad's in the board of governors."

"Exactly. That's the thing. She's got so much control over the other kids in the school. Silas, seriously. Even the teachers will side with her because they don't want to get on the wrong side of her dad."

"So we just let her get away with it?"

"No." She looks around and whispers "I have a plan. I'll tell you later." She says as the bell rings for class.

~~Casualty~~

_**Don't need to wish upon the stars...**__**  
**__**Now I have a t-shirt, to go with my...**__**  
**__**Scars.**_

_**Oh, my scars...**__**  
**__**Now I have a t-shirt, to go with my...**_

~~Casualty~~

Adam got into work and walked into the staffroom, and saw Kirsty. When she saw him, she asked "Hey, did you get through to Nita's school today?"

"Yeah, I spoke with the principal. He says Nita's been hanging around with some kid, Silas. He says since Silas came to the school last week, she's been rude to her classmates and was late to class one time."

"So it's this kid Silas, then?"

"I don't know. He said he was just back from reprimanding the guy for mouthing off to a girl in the year above them. He said he was inclined to believe the other girl, straight-A, doesn't put a toe out of line, over Nita and Silas."

"Wait, where does this involve my daughter?"

"Apparently, the older girl had gone and introduced herself to the new boy and he started bad-mouthing her for no reason."

"I don't believe Nita would get involved with someone like that."

"Actually, the boy claims he was standing up for Nita. He'd said she and her friends have been bullying Nita. Principal didn't seem to think so."

"Do you know what the older girl's name is?"

"Jenny? Marlan? I don't know. I think he said those two names I don't know."

"Jenna McFarlane."

"Yeah that's it. Definitely. How'd you work it out?"

"Her dad's on the board of governors. Everyone knows he's very 'influential' within the school's staff."

"You mean, they're in his pocket?"

"Basically, yeah. Corrupt as anything."

"Why didn't she say anything before?"

"There'd be no point. She'd be asked to leave the school, and the matter would be brushed under the carpet. Bloody politics. It's a _school_."

"We'll work it out. Right, we've got to go back to work. It looks busy out there. We'll talk some more later on then."

"Yeah. Ok."

~~Casualty~~

_I miss my dad. Of _course_ I do, he's my _dad_. Adam's great and all, but he's not my dad._

_A part of me wishes he was._

_There's a small part that hates him._

_Sometimes I don't know what to think._

_He's great to my mum, he never hurts her._

_Not like dad used to._

~~Casualty~~

_**My scars, yeah... Now I have a t-shirt, to go with my scars...**_

~~Casualty~~

_I sort of wonder if my dad always knew he'd kill himself._

_I never told mum what the tiny scar on my left knee was from. I said 'I fell'. She believed me. He promised that was the first and last time he'd ever hurt me._

_He never thought that taking himself away from me would be hurting me._

~~Casualty~~

_**Are you happy now?**__**  
**__**Are you happy now?**__**  
**__**Are you happy now?**__**  
**__**Oh, You draw a big crowd!**_

~~Casualty~~

_Silas is watching me. Oh God!_

_Why does he look worried?_

_The door opens. It's Anderson._

"Can I speak to Nita Clements, please?"

"Of course."

_What did he do?_

_I'm standing outside the classroom now. Anderson speaks to me._

"Nita. I have to ask you. Are you experiencing harassment from another pupil?"

_I can't speak. So I nod._

"Ok. You can go back to class. Send Silas McAvoy out. Tell him to bring his things, this lesson ends in about five minutes anyway."

"It's not him. It's-" _he cuts me off with a hand._

"Go."_ He says, with a little more force than necessary._

_Silas looks at me questioningly as he leaves._

_What have _I_ done?_

~~Casualty~~

~~Casualty~~

_**You count your money in the dead of the night**__**  
**__**Oh, oh**__**  
**__**You've got your very own heaven sent Jesus Christ.**_

~~Casualty~~

"What'd you say to Anderson?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've been suspended for the rest of the week. Thanks."

"I didn't-" Silas walked away. Nita turned and saw Jenna McFarlane watching the scene with a smirk.

~~Casualty~~

_**Christ, what's the hell that make me?**__**  
**__**Parasite, parasite.**__**  
**__**Write it anywhere that you'd like.**_

_**My scars now I have a t-shirt to go with my...**_

_**My scars, Yeah  
**__**Now I have a t-shirt to go with my**_

_**My scars, my scars,**_

_**Now I ****have a t-shirt to go with my scars**_

**_My scars now I have a t-shirt to go with my_**

_**Parasite, parasite**_

~~Casualty~~

_Now I'm back to having no-one_

~~Casualty~~

_**Write it anywhere that you'd like**_

~~Casualty~~

###########

End of five...

There was quite a gap between the last and this chapter. I think the next chapter will take ages, hopefully not so much time, but exams and such are really soon so I'll catch you all sometime after 13th June.

daydreamerkidxx


	6. Chapter 6: Starving Your Friends

Casualty Fic: Music Numbs my Skin

Pairing: Kirsty/Adam

Summary: Warren's treatment of Kirsty is getting too much for Adam. How will he respond when confronted with the decision to stay and comfort her or go out to seek justice?

Disclaimer: It isn't mine :-(

AN: Well it's been a while, you people probably thought I'd abandoned ship on this one. I've updated the time set so that Linda is staff nurse manager, not Tess. Everything else stays the same.

##########

~~Casualty~~

Chapter Six

Starving Your Friends

~~Casualty~~

_**Thanks a lot.**__**  
**__**I've been disadvantaged from the start**__**  
**__**He constricted the veins heading straight to my head,**__**  
**__**Rerouted the blood to my heart instead**_

~~Casualty~~

Silas slammed his locker closed and rested his fist on the door, breathing slowly.

"Silas."

"I'm not changing my mind."

"Why not?"

"I'm moving and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Silas, wait. Why are you moving?"

"I asked to."

"Is it final?"

"Not yet, but once my mum fills in some forms, then we're off again."

"You need stability. Don't quit when things get tough. It just makes you-"

"Makes me what?" his intense stare made Nita's knee's quiver, she swallowed and mustered up a neutral face.

"It makes you a coward."

Silas set his jaw and narrowed his eyes. "I'm going. You can't stop me." He said coldly, swung his bag over his shoulder and stormed past her.

~~Casualty~~

_**I am braindead,**__**  
**__**Thinking in strictly in blues and reds.  
Oh, I'm in enough trouble man,**__**  
**__**Oh man, I'm in trouble again**_

~~Casualty~~

A mirror was either your best friend or your worst enemy. Jenna McFarlane was one of those who spent fifty percent of her time admiring herself and the other fifty percent basking in the admiration of others. When the two happened at once, she relished every second.

The door of the bathroom opened and Jenna whipped round to see the door to one of the stalls shutting. Not one of her inner or outer circle. The girl would have had the decency to acknowledge Jenna's presence at the very least. She turned back to the mirror and spoke.

"Either you're new here, you're year seven, or you're trying to ignore me. So which is it."

Silence.

"Oh come on. Even people like Nita Clements would at least mumble hi, before dashing into the toilet like a puppy with its tail between its legs."

The door opened and Jenna's facade dropped. "Nickie. Hi. I thought you were some first year."

"Well, obviously I'm not. Jenna, you've got to grow up, life isn't always going to be people falling at your feet every guy wanting you, every girl wanting to be you. Or so it would seem."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Seriously, this whole preppy crap has got to stop. The clique thing is so immature, and yes I know I dabbled in it myself, but then I grew up. My best friend, Allie, I bullied her when we were twelve, turns out she was the only one who would be a true friend. You're not royalty, so get your head out of the pretty princess clouds and into the real world."

With that, the head girl turned and left the bathroom.

~~Casualty~~

"Jay and Mads you're on cubicles for the first hour."

"Right, Kirsty can you go into Resus, Adam wants you for a psychiatric consultation, there's no-one available from psych for now, so can you do that until they can free someone up to come down?"

"Yeah, sure Linda."

"Tess, would you be alright going to CDU for a bit and alternating between there and resus."

Tess nodded and she and Kirsty headed off to resus together.

"She is in way over her head."

"I won't go back there. I refuse to be bullied by bureaucratic spin doctors who have nothing better to do than make cuts to resources and save their own hides."

"Bet you have more time for you now though."

"Yeah. The job was just piling on more and more. I think I was good at it, but the straw came to break the camel's back, and break my back did."

"Well, best get on then. I'll go do this psych consult then."

"And I'll go to Paeds resus. The little boy from last night hasn't been moved up yet. I promised him I'd go see him as soon as I got the chance."

"Take care then." She walked through the doors of the main Resus room and saw Adam and two nurses trying to restrain an elderly patient, who was flailing wildly and rambling incessantly. "Right. Mr-" she glanced at the man's chart "Davis. I can see you're under great stress and if I can get you to calm down, my friends here can let go of you." The man slowed his flailing and struggling and stopped his rambling, his breaths short and laboured. "Good. Now, if I can just get you to lie back down on to the bed, that would be good." The man lowered himself down and lay still, his eyes darting about the room. "Mr Davis, you're in Holby City hospital, and all these people are trying to do, is make you better, ok?" The man nodded, still not speaking. "Dr Truman, you asked me here for a preliminary psychiatric consultation. May I ask why?"

"This is not the patient I wanted to ask you about. I just encountered some difficulty when Mr Davis woke up."

"Ok. Which patient is it?"

"A fifteen year old boy. He was brought in and won't talk to any of us. Just himself. His name is Michael Kent. We found his library card."

"Did you catch anything that he said?"

"He said some numbers I don't know what for." He trailed off. "Lenny's in with him now. Right here." He pulled a screen aside and there was a boy, who looked much younger than fifteen, sitting hugging his knees and rocking on the bed, muttering to himself.

"Michael. My name's Kirsty."

"One."

"I'm just going to help Doctor Truman and Doctor Lyons make you well again. We're going to need to examine you"

"Three, six."

"Three six? What do you mean?"

"Ten. Fifteen. Twenty one."

"He's just rhyming of numbers, won't let me look at him."

"Twenty eight. Thirty six. Forty five."

"Michael, come on. Listen your mum's on the way soon."

"Fifty five."

"She'll be here soon, and she'll want to hear how you've been good for us and let us take care of you."

"Sixty six. Seventy eight. Ninety one. One hundred and five."

"Wait. One, three, six, ten, fifteen... they're triangle numbers. It's a mathematical sequence." Said Lenny "I remember GCSE maths we had to look at them."

"One hundred and twenty."

"Are you reciting the triangle numbers, Michael?" Kirsty asked

"Triangles are the strongest geometrical structure."

"He knows his stuff." Lenny commented

"Morley's trisector theorem states that in any triangle, the three points of intersection of the adjacent angle trisectors form an equilateral triangle."

"As interesting as that is, Michael, we need to be able to have a look at those cuts and burns. Some of them look quite nasty." Adam said quietly, but authoritatively

"The human flesh burns at 1400 degrees Fahrenheit and 760 degrees Celsius and 1033 Kelvin."

"Well, how about we have a look at them then, and you can tell me all about whatever you want while we have a look at you." Kirsty asked him

Finally, a breakthrough. Michael nodded. Very slightly.

~~Casualty~~

_**Cause everyone's ears are watching me,**__**  
**__**But I never, ever felt that this would be**__**  
**__**Anything more than a makeshift personal I.V.**_

~~Casualty~~

"Hey."

_Why would anyone want to talk to me now. Only Silas would go near me._

"I believe you are Nita Clements. Is that right?"

"Yeah."

"I think you should know that I've given Jenna McFarlane a bit of advice regarding her huge head."

"What?"

"She's been put in her place regarding her treatment of her peers, most specifically, you."

"Why? Things were ok. I was fine."

"The black eye and split lip last week weren't enough?

"I don't need you to interfere. This is my business. My thing to deal with."

"Except you're not dealing with it. You're just letting it happen."

"Leave me alone. Please. Everyone does."

"Fine."

~~Casualty~~

_Everything would be better if I wasn't here. Things would be easier on mum. Si wouldn't have me pulling him down. Jenna and her gang would just love to see the back of me. I won't do it here, not near where dad is- I don't want it to be like I want to be close to him. I do and I don't. I miss dad, the one who was happy and joked around, not the paranoid drunk who took over in the last while. Only while he joked around with me, he was hurting mum. I'm just going to go and let everyone get on with their lives._

The scrap of paper held her future, but Nita wasn't ready to finalise it by putting the words permanently in her diary. She _had _to get it right. The final page in her diary had to be just that- final. She decided it was enough and lifted her pen for the last time. As she copied each word in her messy scrawl, she started feeling a burning heat in her cheeks. It was only when the words 'I miss dad' were smudged, that she realised she was crying. She had to finish. Just a few more lines, and a few more smudges, then she was done. She left the journal on her bed, the pen closed in the last page. Nita picked up her bag and left the house for the last time. She looked back, saw the memories of her life here. Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked away, hitching her bag on her shoulders.

~~Casualty~~

_**I fall three times as hard**__**  
**__**If it's from nothing at all**__**  
**__**You all seem twice as tall as I will ever be.**_

_**And I feel terribly small**__**  
**__**When my head works too hard**__**  
**__**When you think with your chest,**__**  
**__**There's not a thing that you don't see.**_

~~Casualty~~

"That was a difficult kid to deal with. How did you know what to do?" Linda asked Kirsty as they went into the break room

"My training and also my experience as both a nurse and a mother do help a lot."

"How are things at school with her now?"

"She seems to have settled, but there's some girls who have connections who've been giving her and a new boy a hard time."

"Connections? In a school?"

"Children of the board of governors seem to congregate together."

"That is a load of bureaucratic nonsense."

"What's a load of bureaucratic nonsense?" Lenny asked as he came into the room.

"Nothing, Lenny. It's not important." Kirsty glanced at her watch "I'm just off shift now, so I will catch you all later. I'm going home to see what state my darling daughter is in."

~~Casualty~~

Silas felt horrible. He felt like he'd betrayed the only genuine person on this planet. So here he was. Standing ringing the doorbell, because he knew she'd be home. But she wasn't, or maybe she was ignoring him. Some cars went by and Silas stepped down a few steps, maybe he had the wrong house. No. He didn't. That was Nita's purple seahorse keyring on the ground, beside the step. The key on it was scratched from use.

"Hey!" he turned and saw a woman striding across the road towards him. "What are you doing in my garden?" she said, angrily, as she came up the path. Seeing the keyring clutched in Silas' hand, she snatched it and said "This is my daughter's, what're you doing with it?"

"I'm a friend of Nita's. I came here to see if she was alright, I found her key there by the front step."

"Nita never said anything about an Irish boy. Are you from school?"

"Yeah. Silas McAvoy." He held out his hand to shake.

The woman narrowed her eyes, but took his hand and shook it briefly, before releasing it as it she'd had a static shock. Pushing past the boy, she used her daughter's key, which was still in her hand to open the door. She turned and said "You'd better come in then."

He obliged and walked into the front hall. It was a nice hallway, if simple in decor.

"Nita, come down here now, you have a visitor." Turning to Silas, she said "Come through here and I'll go up to get her." He was led into a small, but nicely laid out kitchen. "Won't be a minute." With that, she left the room and bounded upstairs, calling her daughter's name again.

~~Casualty~~

_**I'm hardly capable of half the damage**__**  
**__**That I would like to do**__**  
**__**I could swear that I don't care,**__**  
**__**But you know I'm too full of shit**__**  
**__**To think this through.**_

_**So look at me,**__**  
**__**I pray to God**__**  
**__**But curse too much to be considered true.**__**  
**__**I'm just like me,**_

~~Casualty~~

_Warren Clements_

_Father, Husband, Son and friend_

_The only person he was unable to save was himself_

Lies littered this graveyard. Nita wondered how many gravestones actually reflected the person they were commemorating. No matter how bad a person was in life, they had a small plot and a piece of rock, with a piece of respect carved into it in death. You could be horrible to someone in life, but the living fear causing offence to some higher power for not showing respect to the dead.

The white jasmines had long since died, Nita replaced them with a mix of pink and yellow roses. The centrepiece was a single black rose. It was one final thing she could do here. A small gesture, but it still meant a lot to her to do this.

She spent a few more minutes there, before gathering up the dead flowers and her bag and leaving her father's grave behind forever.

~~Casualty~~

Adam walked through the door of the house and made his way to the kitchen. He was exhausted and desperate for a good, strong cup of coffee. There was a strange boy sitting at the kitchen table, causing Adam to nearly drop his bag.

"Who are you?" he asked, alarmed.

"Silas McAvoy, I'm a friend of Nita's." The boy said in a light Irish-English mix accent "Her mum went upstairs to go get her, but that was a while ago. I was going to see if they were alright up there but I haven't heard any talking or movement since she went up calling after her."

"Adam Trueman. You're the boy who stood up for Nita, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I also was a bit short with her last week as well. Decided a stupid fight was nothing to get meself worked up about, and came round to apologise and make up with her."

"Why were you short with her?"

"Disagreement with another girl, spiralled out of control a bit and I ended up gettin' meself suspended fer a week."

"The McFarlane girl?"

"Yeah, her. Nasty piece of work she is. Shame her da's got the whole faculty in his pocket, else we'd have a fightin' chance of having a bit of help."

"What made you side with Nita? As far as I'm aware, everyone was pretty much automatically taking the other girl's side, or not wanting to get involved."

"People are scared, 'cos of her and her inner circle's connections. They're not all friends, not one. They just clump together because of their parents and they all follow Jenna around like she's some kind of deity. It's so stupid."

"Right, well, it was nice meeting you, Silas. I think I'll go find out where Kirsty and Nita have got to." With that, he left the room and headed upstairs. After checking a few rooms, he found Kirsty alone on Nita's bed with a book. "Hey, where's-" he trailed off as Kirsty looked up at him, her face soaked with tears.

"She's gone."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"I don't know, but I found her diary and I read the last page to see if there was anything in it."

He took the diary and quickly read the half page. "We'll call the police, report her missing. That boy Silas is downstairs, maybe he can help us."

"Oh. I forgot he was still down there. I'll clean myself up before I go down, I'm sure I look a right state."

"You look fine. Your daughter's missing, finding her is what counts."

"Silas." They had both come down together.

Silas was concerned to see that there were two, not three people standing in the doorway, and that Nita's mother, Kirsty had clearly been crying. "What's going on? Where's Nita?"

"We don't-" Kirsty started to cry into Adam's shoulder

"We don't know where she is." Adam finished, calmly stroking Kirsty's back

"Did she leave anything behind that'd tell us where she is?"

"No. Just her diary."

"Oh. Would there be any places you could think she'd go to? Maybe see some friends? Or family?"

A flash of realisation shot over Kirsty's face. "Warren." She dashed to get her coat from the hallway.

"What?" said Adam and Silas, in unison

Kirsty came back into the room. "She's gone to see Warren. She's at his grave."

"Kirsty, are you sure?"

"Adam, she wrote that she misses her dad. So she's gone to see him. Let's go."

The three people left the house quickly. "Silas, would you like to come with us? Or do you need to let your parents know where you are?"

"Mum's at the office until the early hours of tomorrow morning, dad's in London with me sister. I'm not going to leave Nita without saying sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"I said something in haste, it was more for show in front of everyone, I was going to message her to apologise but my phone ran out of credit, and my internet is down. This was the first free moment I had to come round."

"Let's all get in the car and we'll go look."

"Actually, I came down on my bike, and I'm going to check a few other places. More ground covered and all that."

"Right, well be safe."

~~Casualty~~

_**I'm just like me,**__**  
**__**So who the hell are you?**_

_**I'm but a boy,**__**  
**__**Just like the rest of these thieves.**__**  
**__**And I borrow phrases from**__**  
**__**Dusty, faded, record sleeves**_

_**The story is the same,**__**  
**__**I've just personalized the name**__**  
**__**But if it's all you need,**__**  
**__**Then I'd be more than happy to confess my shame'**_

~~Casualty~~

As soon as she arrived at the bus station, Nita took her phone, turned it on silent and hid it in a bag that was sitting on a trolley. She left the bus station, and walked to the park. She'd gone there as a kid and had enjoyed many days with her parents on the swings, the roundabout and the climbing frame.

The swing set brought back a load of memories, there was where she'd landed when she successfully jumped off and landed without incident, for the first time. Over there she'd ridden her bike for the first time, without stabilisers. The roundabout was where she'd gotten her fist skinned knee. The first of many.

"Nita!" The faint shout made her spin in her seat. It was time to get out of there.

~~Casualty~~

The flowers. Fresh flowers. She was here, but not now. Where was she? The Black rose stuck out amongst the mix of pink and yellow. The message: 'goodbye, I love you'

"We'll find her. For all we know, Silas already has."

"She's gone. The flowers. We talked about meanings of rose colours when we were choosing arrangements for the funeral."

"Why? What does it mean?"

The pink and yellow are love and happiness. The black. It means either death or farewell."

"On a grave, it's not so out of place then."

"They're not a message about him. It's her saying goodbye to her dad. For good."

~~Casualty~~

"Nita!" He cycled past the shops, the park, the local primary school. "NITA!" He realised where he was heading. He could feel the pull. She was calling to him. Only, not with her voice.

The water of the canal glistened in the sunlight, though murky. There was a scarf tied around one of the posts of the barrier. It was the same red scarf she'd worn the first day he'd spoken to her.

~~Casualty~~

_**I know you think you know,**__**  
**__**But these eyelids are windows**__**  
**__**That shut you out from all the things**__**  
**__**That I don't want you to know.**__**  
**__**And I refuse to tell you**__**  
**__**One single secret I own.**__**  
**__**'Cause you'll find I'm petrified**__**  
**__**Of your eyes.**_

~~Casualty~~

She'd left the scarf for him. She wanted him to see it, to recognise it. She watched as he gently untied it from the fence. He walked over to his bike, almost entranced by the piece of material. She watched, almost as hypnotised as he tied it around the handlebars of his bike. His foot hit the pedal and soon he was out of sight.

Everything was cleared up, time to get going.

"Nita."

"Silas."

~~Casualty~~

"Where to now?"

"Just keep driving." After a few minutes "Look! There's Silas."

"What's he doing? He's just sitting there. He should be looking for her."

"Where's his bike?"

They both got out of the car and ran over. Kirsty's heart nearly stopped when she saw the scarf.

"Where is she? Silas, where is Nita?" By this time she was kneeling, with her hands on his arms, shaking him.

"Kirsty." Adam put his hand on her shoulder.

"She's gone." Silas said "I couldn't stop her. She just hugged me, said goodbye and left."

"Where? Where did she go?"

"She said that there'd be no more Nita Clements. That her life was over."

"She wouldn't. No."

Silas just looked up and said "Now would be a time to call in the pros before I have to hear that the girl I've taken quite a shine to, has turned up in her office."

~~Casualty~~

_**I'm hardly capable of half the damage**__**  
**__**That I would like to do.**__**  
**__**I could swear that I don't care,**__**  
**__**But you know I'm too full of shit**__**  
**__**To think this through.**_

~~Casualty~~

The blonde girl walked out of the salon and headed to the train station. She'd emailed her friend in the internet cafe two shops down. The train to Edinburgh left in ten minutes. New life, new start.

Nita Clements' life was over.

Becky Carmon's was just beginning.

~~Casualty~~

_**I've read the book,**__**  
**__**I prayed to God,**__**  
**__**But cursed too much to be considered true.**__**  
**__**I'm just like me,**__**  
**__**I'm just like me,**__**  
**__**So who the hell are you?**_

############

Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

this is the end, just so you know. I was gonna have her jump in the canal, but I thought this would be a lot better.

seeyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

daydreamerkid xx


End file.
